no strings attached;
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7/30/2007
noone but me from URL @ 1:03 AM Its 1.04 am & i know this unearthly hour will make me feel sleepy tomorrow; well. Yesterday i went to Little India to get my attire for my cousin's R.O.M. & i reached early so my cousin asked me to sit at the hawker centre and wait for her. & THENNNN. This Indian man around 30+ came and sat with me. He started asking after my health, what was i doing, who was i meeting and all. I was damn freaked out & then he started insisting that he buy me dinner. I was like thinking ' omg, noooo'. So i politely, mind you, told him i had to go, thanked him and left. & THEN HE STARTED STALKING ME. He started calling after me and kept insisting that i stay with him and he buy me dinner. I was SUPER FREAKED. I didnt know what to do, so i walked really quickly and called Rupini so i'd have a distraction. So i ignored him and just walked aroundandaround, talking to Rupini cos i was damnnnn scared & finally we both decided that i shd go to the bus stop. & thankfully when i turned around he wasn't there anymore. OMG. PERVERT. & when my cousin came she laughed at me, HAHA. stoooopid. Anyway, omg i was super freaked cos this was a first for me. & dammit; the rare times that i go to little india this has to happen. Best la. Anyway i got a preeetyy white and pink punjabi suit instead of the saari (: i like (: - Today i was reading in the papers that a girl from HwaChong JC was going to apply for a scholarship in journalism that SPH offered her. Then i read another article about how JCs were piling the stress on students. Then my Mom was telling me about how laid back education in Australia is. - & Natalie and i wre just talking about friendships in Cedar. I love them, cos for me, everything is so comfortable and perfect; effortless. Like with Delta, i feel so at home with them that i do things i'd never dream of in front of my own family. & 4i, we all fit in so effortlessly and with so much ease that it feels so perfect. No backstabbers or whatshit nonsense. Natalie would say 'shallow la', but ahaha, who likes life complicated. Take a look at simple picture, yo. - & i dont like what the Os is doing to us. Its leaving us feeling frustrated with ourselves and draining our social lives. But the worst thing would be the feeling of guilt. Like that of 'what am i doing here when i could have done 2 amaths questions' and whatnot. & oversleeping and wanting to slap oneself after waking up. GRAHH somedays i realllly could scream. But we have our motivations don't we? I've got to prove some people wrong, stick my cert in some asses face and most of all show myself that i can. Quotes netball on this, "We must, We will, We can". All the way, yo. Its not our last lap, no time to give up now. No time. - and this was an absolutely random post because i felt quite bothered after doing lit. Have a Lovely day people! -SARAH. SarahJ came about with NCC. 7/28/2007 noone but me from URL @ 3:27 PM UPDATE! :D long post Monday! Stayed back to sew on all the Cs onto the part Cs pillows. It was thumbwrenching but we're pro luh! (: Well, it took us long enough then nurin, adlin & i went to Sheng Siong, then back home. Tuesday! I had bad diarrhoea. But i came to school after recess for Unseen Lit & Macbeth. & then Aye, something shitass happened. This was heartwrenching & i almost cried, but no i wasn't gna give * the satisfaction. But, lets just hope there's a heart somewre in * fat ass. Anyway, kath & i cabbed to nurin's house (adlin dropped off later) & we started on the collage! (i mean it when i say my lovelies always make me SMILE!:D) It was uberr fun doing it & the cupcakes too :) But our break was the best part! HAHA. Rupini & i wanted to slp and kathleen and nurin started jumping on us! It resulted in molestations, touchings, pulling clothes, screaming and the best of all LAUGHTER! :] precious laughter. HAHA i laughed till i couldn't breathe la, omg. Okay, and the rest shall be left out for privacy's sake. Well, then we cleaned up and left at around 9.45 :] stayed up virtually the entire night to finish letters. Wednesday! POP. Was exactly the way i'd liked to have ended my time in NCC. Some memories are to be left in hearts, cos thats the way they're perfect. Congrats to the Part Cs! :D Your first fourteen steps will be the first of yr thousand others to leading Cedar NCC to the exceeedingly highest heights! All the way I/Cs. To Delta! (i will dedicate an entire post to you soon :) "MY PRECIOUSSSSS". ROD. Was A for AWESOME mann. Though it didn't feel like it was our ROD, it was; and im glad to have exactly that farewell party that we had together with my platoonmates. I'd never have asked for anything else. You did good part Cs; thanks for making it one i'd remember for ever :] (slap me cos im gna say that our POP&ROD seemed like it was just yesterday) Thursday! I shd take away the exclaimation mark cos i woke up groggy with a headache a fever at 38.3, cough, no voice and what not. I just plopped back in bed at 530. I spent it reading, watched pink panther, slept more and then came online whilst trying to finish Amaths. At early 1am sth, *it hit me. The feeling was shit ): it left me feeling vulnerable and insecure. Everything i had grown to love, everything that was virtually a part of me - over. Only left with memories, and my loveliest Delta 07. But neither will i blog about this. Thank you to Nish, Nat, Zaferin & * cos ya'll made me smile :] (by the way this * and the other *s are all different people. HAHA. you dont need to know who they are, cos the people who need to know who they are, know.) Friday! PE! we are all super excited but it passed by in the blink of an eye, realllly. I think i can rollerblade fine now, but i cant do any of the turns or breaks properly, sheeeesh. ahwell. anw, i was feeling quite upset when it was over. & there's only one more Pe lesson. DAMMIT. no more motivations to go to school, except to get SIXPOINTS for the BIGFATOs :] GO DELTA GO 4I! (& any other sec 4 who bothered to read till here). Had Leaders Invest after school which i felt was a waste of time =/ Aft that Kath, Nat, Nish, Nurin, Rupini, Sunm & i just slacked around. walked around then played our number game. AHHAHAHA! that was the ZEE BEST PART YO! our moodlessness went away :] yay. THE dares- nat had to jump in a puddle of water & do some sillly shooting thing across the courtyard. kath had to stand on the dias and shout WINNER, puching her fist into the air & jumping too. nish had to stand in the centre of the courtyard and shout "I LOVE MY SCHOOL!" nurin had to run and hug Zura like in love movies, AHHA! Rupini sunm and i were the lucky girls :D Well, we left and Nurin & i took 135 home. In the bus this was our convo; me: "eh, shd i buy my brother dinner?" "from where?" "dont know. KFC?" "ehh, actually i feel like eating cheese fries..." (looks at each other) "NURIN! me toooo" "okay ah, okay okay set" (we trailed to KFC and.. "the aroma very nice ah" "HAHA. i think i want to eat chicken!" (so we decided to buy one chicken each instead) "okay, so one chicken k" "okay i think i want to buy a drink also" "okay." (paused. then a woman walks in front of us with cheese fries and two big chickn and drinks and allllll) (nurin & my eyes trailed her tray and then we looked at each other then.. ) "AHHAHAHAHAHA" "okayokay, we share one cheese fries also okay?" "hahahah okay!" (glance at each other and burst out laughing again! HAHAHA) HAHAHAHA, DAMMIT. it was damn funnnnyy. and dinner was funny too! "two cwithhpy bweathh meat?" HAHA. and nurin was damn AHH. we wre talking abt our families and mix bloods. then she asks, "so which side is yours?" i was like "huh" then she says " your mother or father side got eurasion blood?" HAHAHAHAH OMGGGGGG. NURIN AMALIA! is one of my closest friends in cedar and she asks me this question now, after 4 yrs. OMG. sheeeeshkebabs nurin. haha. okay well, i went home, showered, lay on my bed and just slept :D Saturday! I watched the date movie and a sweeeeet tamil movie. & im leaving soon to go to little India to get a saari for my cousin's R.O.M. Yes, Im a pure Indian, haha. BUHBYEEEE Im not afraid to keep on living, Im not afraid to walk this word alone. 7/23/2007 noone but me from URL @ 10:25 PM MATHEMATICS. MAKES. ME. MAD.  DIDN'T YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU THAT ITS RUDE TO STARE? QUIT, STARING AT * MY LOCH NESS MONSTAR. I wish i could put a sock over my head like that monSTAR seems to have, and disappear. If i couldn't, well then i'd growl at anyone, with my ferocious fangs, who brings mathematics anywhere near me. GRAHH. *credits go to Pat and her uncle for the picture. HELP ALREADY. I NEED DESPERATE HELP FOR MY MATHEMATICS.  AND THESE 4 ARE MY LOVELYGOLDEN MONSTARS! THEY GIVE ME GOLDEN HOPE WHEN THERE SEEMS TO BE NONE AT ALL. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLLLLL, yo :D I'd paint my face a thousand times over if it means i could stay with them and away from Mathematics even if i'd look like a clown. A precious Golden clown at that. Someone teach me to love Maths will you? [tday made me feel happier a bit cos Mr Sng said we were almost there for SOB Lit! HOORAY! :] 7/22/2007 noone but me from URL @ 8:59 PM Im feeling super dead now at the prospects of the homework before me. AHS amaths paper, CCHS amaths paper 2, BPGHS emaths paper 2, CGS emaths whole paper, Lit worksheet, Geog worksheet, Physics questions. But, screw the homeworks; I'm here updating my blog. The past week was generally a good week. Spent majority of the days with Part C Specs, and those days were simply Awesome :D Sunday- Gourmet meals, Delta houses, financial planning, picture nostalgia, dog chases (HAHA kathleen!) Monday- Tutiton. Well, i fell asleep till 430 there, hah. Tuesday- cutting, hearts. (Heartbeats! HAHA) Wednesday- Nat'l Track and Field Finals (Awesome! Damn proud of Cedar and my bro) Thursday- Sewing, Rup's house, Kath's saari, painting, golden lovelies, campfire! :) Friday- RHD. last in cedar aye. Saturday- Sewing, Sticking, Writing, Nurin's house, boring Hindhi movies, naps, nose flickers (HAHA nurin!) Haha, but the way i write it they seem quite boring. But heck, those were my ideal days :D & if after the Os means more of these days, well then, BRING IT ON! two pictures for now; i shall post more soon enough.  4I! :)  PART C SPECS! :) & slap me someone, cos although i've got a mountain of homework before me, im going to watch Ugly Betty soon. HAHA. & i indulged in Harry Potter almost the whole of today. okay. so, SHOOOT ME ALREADY. Im gna go rambling on like a makneknek. (i miss using the M16) I can't belive we're passing out this Wednesday. After 4 years this is what its come to; The End. That Bersurai, The End. i would like to scream now, but its okay. I wont. And on Thursday i'll wake up and join my class for jogging cos im no longer a NCC specialist. FAREWELL NCC. fornow.iknowyou&ihaveafuture. Anyway, i admire sacrificial people. Im aspiring to be a selfless person too. Because sacrificial people lead purposeful lives. But the fact that im publicising it here shows that im not humble. So i shall just say that im aspiring to be humble too. For humility is one of the greatest virtues of mankind. And about a certain someone, i really thought i envisioned a future with you. I was thinking about putting those tears, arguments &pain aside, cos i knew you were special to me. But you seem to be the same old you. Cold and heartless. Even after all we've been through. I wish this wasn't goodbye; just give me a good reason. And its 10 now so i think i'll give Ugly Betty a miss. HELLO SARAH! I shall continue on with my mathsmakesmemadattempts till 11. & gosh i think i sound insane, but its alright. This would be the homework stress wouldn't it? So im Anw im blogging inbetween maths questions so that i'd keep awake. Whoever made 'blogging' a word anyway? Is it even a word? haha. OKAY WELL. DONT MATTER DOES IT. I MISS * AHEM! Someone told me that Tanah Merah means Red Earth. I'll miss my Red Earth when i move ): & random but the story of Woodlands, HAHA. Plus, i also indluged in "5 people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. Its a good read. I definately learnt some valuable things from the story. I'll share in subsequent posts :D Well, i feel much sane-er now. (or maybe not since i said sane-er & thats not a word) HAHA. WELL, LIFE'S MEANT FOR LIVING. Adlin would say " Im not a Cat"; and expect you to infer that cats have nine lives but we only have one so we gotta make the most of it. So long Folks. Make yr days Awesome Lovely days cos who knows how many we have left. This post wouldn't make much sense to you; its Lovely dears. 7/14/2007 noone but me from URL @ 8:16 AM I've been sleeping like a PIG the past two days, on thursday i slept from 7.30pm- 5.30 am and last night i slept from 8.30pm- 6.30 am. Seems like i do need my ten hours of sleep, but even then those horrid eye bags refuse to disappear. GRAHH. & i absolutely hate waking up after falling asleep- note the difference between going to sleep & falling asleep- because i do not get the things that i want done, done. I'm not stupid, i know the effing Os are coming. SLAP ME LA DAMMIT. Then i feel irritated that all my mom does is put the blanket for me when i've fallen asleep on the sofa, or when she deliberately doesn't wake me up when i've repeatedly told her too. But i know my mom loves me too much to see me burning the midnight oil, tired. and for that GRAHH. dont get me wrong, i love my mom & i'd die without her. This is the price to pay when you're independent and you're losing the discipline that drives you. Thats what NCC has given me, Discipline & i feel it annoyingly slowly ebbing away. This is when i get into pumping position and do pumping holding it there for hundreds, just to prove to myself that i still can. That i still got the discipline i had back then. Dammit, GRAHH. & i'll attribute this post to studying stress. Plus the teachers aren't exactly helping with the Ridiculously Crazy amount of homework they give. SHEEEEESHHHHKEBABBBBSSSSSSSSSSS. Well, im going to Sher's house later to rollerblade with her & Muu then later mug. HOORAY. Mugging with Muu shall be productive. :D have a nice day. 7/09/2007 noone but me from URL @ 10:49 PM  My brother dearest is having his hurdles event tomorrow at the National T&F Meet Finals. I WANT TO WISH HIM ALL THE BEST! :) Anyway, today when i was going around my neighbours houses attempting to sell the RC tickets, a really heart wrenching sense of nostalgia gripped me ): D'Manor was the place where i spent my most happiest and carefree days with the people dearest to my heart; i have forged so, so many pleasant, unpleasant, definately unforgettable memories here. & now, all that's going to be left would be Goodbyes. Have i mentioned, i hate Goodbyes. Absolutely detest them. You can never say all that you want to say at that moment, but when the person leaves, you're filled with so much regret at the things you left unsaid. The ironies of Life. Here, i must chortle. HAH. Here's you'll go, 'life goes on, we gotta make them most of it'. Well look me in the eye; don't i already know that? Dammit. GOODBYE.
7/08/2007 noone but me from URL @ 12:42 AM TODAY! 20 of US will march with the pride of CEDAR NCC; where Girls Stand Out, Not Blend In. Watch out for Our CEDAR flag :] No more HQ. No more parades. No more no1. No more nice jellies. No more random interactions. No more particular personS. BUZZ&GIRLS' CC!): No more late night ice kachang. Cos good things always come to an end; but the Awesome memories of these things- i'd never trade for anything in my life. It ends tonight, it ends tonight. 7/05/2007 noone but me from URL @ 10:44 PM An Absolutely Random Update: 1) PE today was Awesome! :D im EXCITED for the next 6 weeks of roller blading lessons. 2) Tamil class still gets me pretttty high :D YAY for our bench. 3) I find Faraday's law's pretty much like the 3D LOSER sign. HAHA. Mr Goh is not fat. 4) Emaths lessons are amusing, HAH. 5) Amaths now is mind boggggglingggg. 6) My poor heart still hurts every now and then ): like, physically. Its a stabbing twisty feeling ): 7) I feel preeetyy disappointed and guilty about sth ): 8) Delta wasnt there at the previous parade. Delta wont be there nomore ): 9) My mom is currently in Krabbi. (Today we were planning our essays and Abby & i were gg to right on our ideal careers- journalism. So i was telling her that i could write about my Mom, and that she was actually on a writing trip now when i realised that i forgot where my mom was :X haha) 10) Lunch today with Nurin, Adlin & Lyana was HAHA! :D 11) Friends are the ones that will come to your house to study with you till late when you cant go out late to mug. thankyou!:D to Pat, Kath & Nurin. 12) Brothers are the ones that will call to ask if i have anything to eat for dinner :) BRUDDER! 13) Im anticipating and dreading this Sunday. Im excited yet sad. It'll be our very last. Not just rehearsal, but our last time at HQ. Unless we become clts. (comeon!!) i hope the day never ends. 14) Today i told her " *, careful, later get stuck" when she rolled her eyes. HA.HA. 15) MARLY WON THE SINGA AWARD! :D yay, hooray for awesomely nice people! & nice ppl who write about nice ppl :D 16) Im particularly envious of someone at this moment. 17) OMG I HATE PIMPLE POP-UPS DAMMIT. & i think i might wake up deranged tomorrow because i still have to do my: 1) Literature analysis 2) Plan tamil compo 3) ! Study for physics spa! 4) SEL journal 5) 400 word CCA ldr reflections. 6) and a few this and thats. And i was quite annoyed cos my mom left me sooo many household chores to do; dammit. GOODNIGHT! 7/01/2007 noone but me from URL @ 4:20 AM People are always expecting too much; of themselves and of the people around them. Which would explain why so many of us get disappointed so badly, so many times. Because when you expect too much of yourself or the people around you, it just leaves you more room to be disappointed. But then again, its these expectations that give you a reason to hold on- That there'll always be a new day after a bad one. And its also these expectations that rope you in, encapsulating you in a world of your own; delusionment. and whambhamalakazaam when you get a pinprick and you realise you were in lalaland. That's another disappoinment too. Well, i think disappoinment is a big word; and i think disappointment is a shit feeling. & i dont think any of you who read my blog knows what im referring to, so just smile as life goes on. - Its 4 am now and i dont know what im doing here. Today, of all days, i feel like i don't have a purpose in life. but i know that i do; just that today, i cant find the drive to work to it. I feel blurred and incoherent like as though im suffering from a hangover. Like im just a shadow, merely existing. And im not that kind of person; i cannot stand passive people for that matter. But today im that person, and i really cant place why; like as though i've been slapped in the face or smth. And i cant afford this feeling now when im supposed to be studying. Dammit la. But i know that im a strong kid, and by tomorrow i'll be fine. Still, I think i'll spend tomorrow at ECP. no strings attached. Why can't life be easy? so just smile as life goes on. yes nish, i did think of you :D (but the smiles are only online. thank you though, i realllllly love you.) and this was my bad day.
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Hello, I'm sarahJ 290491 ex-cedarian, victorian NCC- delta 07, cadet officer |
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Friends abigail adlin cheryl esther fadhilah hasyimah hazwani li chu jessica jingyin kathleen li chu narmadha nishanthi marliyana muhaina mujia natalie nicole nurin marliyana patricia pohsin rupini shanisza shermaine sunmeng suria xiaowei zaferin zarifah zerlina |
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